This assignment is fairly short. However, it was written in email format, so I thought it would be helpful to revise this assignment in order to get a better understanding of the format and rules of this type of business writing.

Firstly, after greeting “Dear Convention Committee,” I changed the comma to a colon. This change was based on Ms. Mary’s feedback. I always used comma after greeting in my emails. It was quite a shock to learn that the way I used for many years was not the most proper format.

Also, I changed most of the opening paragraph. There were couple grammar mistakes. Most importantly, the logic of this paragraph was such a mess. In the original paper, I said my working thesis was “Do Asian international college students have higher stress level than native students.” Then I said in paper I would talk about the stressors and ways to improve the situation, which were not really relevant to my thesis. They were more like the further discussions on this topic. So in revision, I edited my working thesis and the structures of my sentences.

Physically participating in the RHET conference actually helped me better understanding the flow of my research paper. I think that is why I was not clear about what I was saying when I did this assignment, which was before the conference.