Asian International Students: Mental Stress Is Serious

            What does it mean to be an international student? Living in a new country alone? Speaking a new language you are not good at? Eating the food you cannot stand after a few weeks? Surrounding by people who may look like totally different from you? How do you react when you are in these situations? Feeling confused? Lost? Crying in your own little bedroom when you miss home? Or choosing to take the challenges positively? Asian international students do have a higher stress level than native students. The stress comes from their original cultural beliefs, lifestyle differences, language difficulties and financial difficulties. Colleges can work together with all students to help international students make their transition smoothly.

I grew up with my grandparents in China. After finished middle school, I moved back to Washington DC to live with my parents. The first year in high school for me was interesting and exciting. I met a lot of new people, spoke a new language, ate new food, but nothing was so difficult because of my parents. I could always go back home and asked for help and advice when I was confused. My father talked with me about the new culture I was experiencing everyday at dinnertime. Thanks to my father, I did not feel the pain through my transition period. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign is a big public university with a lot of international students. Undergraduate class 2018 has more than six hundred Chinese international students, more than ten percent of the class. (U. of I.) The issue caught my attention again at the end of last semester because of one of my close friends. He is an international student from China, and this is his first year on campus. It was a weekday night, around 1:00AM, and I was writing a paper. He sent me a message that said he couldn’t fall asleep. I asked for the reasons, but he told me he did not the reasons as well. He said he just felt rattled, annoyed inside of his heart, for something, something he did not even know what it was. I was confused by his response, but I still told him some methods to relax his body so he could get rest. A week later, he did not show up to a 1:00PM lecture we both had. In that afternoon, he texted me saying he just woke up after a twelve hours sleep. I was so happy to hear that, but it did not last long. He then told me he slept so well because he took some sleeping pills. He said he tried so many ways to get some sleep during the past week, but he failed, so he had no choice but taking some of the pills. I was shocked. I did not imagine the problem was so serious when he first came to me. From that on, I started to think about international students and the mental stress they have.

In school, we always hear people say “Asian guys are smart.” Being an Asian, I do not think we are smarter than anyone else in the first place, but we work harder than others to get closer to the “perfect”. A research study result shows that the correlation between the idea of perfectionism and the stress Asian international students have is up to 50%. (Nilsson) It means 50% of the variation of the stress Asian international students have can be explained by the variation of the idea of perfectionism. From statistic perspective, a correlation of more than 50% is fairly high. Perfectionism is a traditional belief from East Asian culture, and you can easily tell that if you work with international students from East Asia. Couple weeks ago, my best friend Laura came to my room complaining about her roommate, a native white American girl. I was so surprised when she came to me because her roommate and she got along really well. Laura told me she was not happy because of her roommate’s reaction when Laura told her roommate about the score of one of her exam. Laura told me she got a “B” on that exam, and she thought she could get an “A”. Laura described to me about her roommate “After I told her I got a ‘B’, and I not happy about it…she looked at me like I was crazy. Why can’t she understand that I have to get an ‘A’ as a Chinese. Why can’t she understand a ‘B’ is not okay for me […].” We cannot say the belief or the culture is wrong, but we do see perfectionism gives Asian students a lot of more mental pressure. We can often hear from Asian parents “You have to get into Harvard.” All I can say to Laura is “You are already really good.” I think universities or colleges that have Asian international students should pay attention to them and let them know they are already great, and “Straight As” does not mean the whole world.

Besides perfectionism, there are many other stressors. Based on a research study, there are six main categories stressors: adjustment to living in two cultures, feeling overwhelmed, language difficulty, feelings of isolation, financial stress, and marital stress. (Nilsson) Language difficulty is not only about understanding the lectures. Language is a main barrier when making American friends because every language has it own humor. International students may understand the every single word Americans say, but they do not understand the inside joke behind the sentence. International students do not understand why American students laugh, and the American students do not understand why international students do not laugh, which makes the conversation awkward. Thus, international students tend to hang out with their own social group. However, after a period of time, they start to feel guilty about themselves “Why do I still hang out with the same people after I sacrifice so much to come here?” On the second day, they still go out with the same group because it makes them feel more comfortable.

College education in America is not cheap, especially for international students. Sometimes they have to pay up to four times of in-state tuition. Today, many of the international students come from rich families, so the tuition does not seem to be a big issue. Because of that, there is a phenomenon starting to appear in many college campuses today. These international students start to compare themselves to each other on clothing, shoes, bags, and jewelries, etc. We can see on campuses that some girls with Asian faces bring LV or COACH bags as book bags to lectures. It is the mentality that to prove they can live well, or even better than others in this new country by showing off how wealthy they are. This type of showing off sometimes is the way to cover their aloneness inside on this new land. However, on the other hand, not all the international students are from wealthy families. They do not only feel the pressure from the new culture, but also feel the financial pressure from wealthy students who come from the same place as they do.

Relationship also plays a big role in international students daily life. The relationship within international student groups is a little different from the relationship within native students. Normally we have a girlfriend or boyfriend because we love her/him, so we want to be together. In international student groups, many of them get a partner because they feel alone on this land with no families around. In this case, conflicts often come to place because the relationship between the two people is not strong enough. For those couples that have strong relationship, it is also common to have conflicts because of a result of the multiple stressors I talked above. (Living, 14) It is common that the tension between couples often has really negative effect on their daily performance. As students, they may get low grades, not perform well in work, which all make them feel more pressure.

Dr. Sharon Rubin once said, “Going to college is like crossing into a new culture.” (Rowh) People may argue that college is stressful to everyone, not only international students. College is a new culture for American students as well, but not as new as for international students. In the “new culture,” American students do not have to speak a new language, do not have to be far away from home half way across the world, and do not have to follow totally different rules. Elizabeth Redden made a point that Chinese students have less stress because there are more and more Chinese students on campus. (Redden) However, no matter how many international students are on campus, when international students call their parents, many of them only tell their parents the good stuff unless the situation is bad enough that they cannot handle the problems themselves. There is no way parents can come so far for such little issues, and there is no way they can go back home halfway through the semester. Then why do they need to tell their parents, which only causes their parents worry but nothing else? When I talked to international students, they often give me a feeling that they are much older than they actually are. Coming to a new land alone, all internationals students learn how to grow up, to be independent, and to put most of the pressure on themselves.

Most of the colleges in America have student-counseling offices. For example, the counseling office in U of I has topics related to international students such as “Cultural Transition and Adaptation”, “Legal Issues for International Students” and “U.S. Education System”, etc. (Counseling) Then why are there so many problems? The fact is that students do not really go to counseling offices for help when they have problems because they feel so embarrassed or uncomfortable to share their stories with others, even the professionals. Most of students look for their close friends for help just like what my friends did. The only problem again is that people tend to socialize with the group of people who are from the same place or share the same culture with them. In another word, if you are an international student, your best friend will probably be an international student as well. Then how much can your friends help you when they are confused in the same way as well? Thus, I suggest colleges to offer a one to two semester requirement course for international students to help them go through the transition smoothly.

One way to help international students get to understand American culture better and faster is by Facebook, Twitter or other social medias. I got this idea after I read a research study report. The result of the research study shows that using social networking site like Facebook actually helps international students adjust the new culture and makes them more comfortable in the new environment. (Park) Especially for our generation, we, college students, spend a lot of time on our smart phones each day. We are playing around with Facebook, Instagram, and SnapChat, etc. with our friends. If each college has a group on those social medias for international students, they would be more willing to chat, ask questions, or simply share their new life stories in the new country in this kind of online form. It will also be beneficial that American students who are interested in Asian cultures to join the group. The interaction between the two groups will help both American students and international students learn each other’s culture better, and they will definitely make good friends through their conversations.

There are many minority organizations in each school. For example the Chinese student organization many colleges have is Chinese Students and Scholars Association (CSSA). The organization helps the new coming Chinese students each year, and makes them feel confortable being here. However, it makes the new comers less likely to get out of their comfort zone to make American friends since the first group of people they meet is also Chinese. Thus these minority organizations should start to work with other organizations to increase opportunities of meeting with other groups of people to their members, which also help the international students to involve in the new culture more quickly.

* References will be provided under tab “Works Cited”.