This was one of the first assignments that we did in this course. Therefore, to revise this assignment, I began by rereading the original draft in its entirety. When I reread an assignment, I tend to do so aloud. Reading aloud helps me determine at what point in the draft there seems to be an error.  Just by doing this I was able to find many instances where my writing did not seem worded correctly. As pointed out by Professor Mary, my original draft also contained a few passive voice errors, which made my writing wordy and indirect. To correct these issues, I referred to section W-3 of the Writer’s Reference handbook. Finally, I combed through the rest of the draft to get rid of any vague words that would leave the reader guessing as to what I was referring to.