I started the revision process by heavily critiquing my introduction to this essay. In my previous draft, I started with a historical overview to introduce the Democratic Party. However, this seemed to take away from the main idea of the essay, which was to analyze a particular plank. In my revised draft, I decided to just get rid of this. As pointed out by Professor Mary, there were a lot of instances where I was too wordy in my previous draft. Often times this can distract the reader from understanding the intended message. As a result, I then began combing through the essay to trim or simplify my writing. My original paper contained many grammatical errors, specifically in the area of sentence fragments. In some cases, I found that this to be stylistic of my writing, but in certain instances, it is not acceptable. To revise and help correct this issue I referred to G5 of the Writers Reference handbook. Finally, I failed to mention one of the Toulmin words and that was a rebuttal. I made sure to correct this, along with a few other minor mistakes in the final, revised copy of my essay.