This week, I have refined my research topic. My research topic was “How College Students Become Victims of Mental Illness” last week; however, after reading the interview of Gerard, I realized the art of research is starting with a neutral but curious perspective and enjoy exploring what I haven’t learned yet. As a result, I deleted the biased phrases in the research topic and changed it into “How Mental Illness Affects College Students.”

My research topic is the intersection of education and health. The two topics are evoking intensive discussions around not only myself but also all over the world. The news about college students committing suicide or dropping out of school because of mental illness is bring the attention from the society. It is extremely mournful to see highly educated young people being ruined or interfered by illness that we cannot see. As a result, I choose to research about the effects of mental illness upon college students. The research can, at least in some degree, sweep out the stigma.

I am going to write about the issue of mental health in US universities. Actually, I have observed a lot of cases related to mental health in US universities both directly and indirectly. For example, a Chinese student in our university and my major, Physics, locked himself  in his apartment for four months because of depression. As I took abnormal psychology last semester, I can say that I have some academical background in this topic. However, based on what I have read and what I have experienced, I think I might have already chosen a point of view as someone who wanted to evoke the empathy from normal students and faculties to the population having mental disorder. As a result, my information gathering of my research might be a process of trying to find evidences to support the preexisted thesis. In order to enjoy the pleasure of finding out something brand new as Gerard did, I should forget what I have planned to write about and try to let the information I am going to access tell me what should I write about. Although my topic is not on the list, I do believe it closely touches what are listed. In order to avoid being ordinary and cliche, I think I will incorporate more academic resources instead of merely using social materials.

Hello Baihe,

I hope this letter reach you well. How is your semester going so far?

I am enjoying my second semester of the freshman year. My RHET course requires

me to write a research paper. I am, really, excited about writing it.

Before I begin writing the paper, I should select a topic by myself. Although I haven’t decided which to choose yet, I want to write about education and violence. As a college student, I have plenty of accesses to information and experiences related to education. Moreover, the current condition in the states is unstable, and violence is happening all over the country; thus, I do believe it’s important to discuss the relationship between education and violence that might contribute a solution to this issue.

In addition, I have finished several critical responses since the beginning of RHET 105, and I also have received comments from Prof Marry. I did well in my style of writing, but the several elements from my writing were cliches which should be avoided in further writing. I would like to explore a new structure of my essay to improve my writing. I began reading writings from accomplished authors, and I hope this action can make me improve. Next time, I am going to use technology to correct my grammar and spelling errors before uploading my assignment to get a better grade.

I am looking forward to seeing you as a college student!

Best wishes,

Yige

The structure of my essay is good, and I like my in-depth analyzation.
My stye of formatting is really rigid and full of cliche.
I should prove read my essay to avoid grammar errors.The sentences should also be more concise through deleting unnecessary words.
I read and appreciated essays from more accomplished writers to improve my style of writing. The writer’s center can also be used.
I should keep revising my essays until it satisfies me.