Empowering Women in Sports (2)
Going back on this essay what I ended up doing was following the comments that my professor left for me on the last essay we did, our research paper. I changed any grammar mistakes that my professor commented on or just needed some improving. I also needed to expand on my analysis on the sources so I did that as well. Also I ended up fixing my citations by including a hanging indentation. I also focus on having my argument relate back to the thesis since it was lacking the first time and fixing my examples that seemed vague. There are also areas in writing that I need to improve on and also fixed any words that seemed vague. I still need to further my progress on grammar and organizational skills to make my writing flow better.
For my first essay I thought I did pretty well and I mainly needed to revise grammatical and structure errors. My professor left comments that helped me fixed them because with them I wouldn’t have noticed it. For example I had a in-text source that needed to be italicized and I added a comma here to join two independent clauses with a conjunction. I had moments where I sounded repetitive so I fully developed the paragraphs that seemed that way. I alphabetized my sources and added a hanging indentation. After doing this essay I noticed my grammar improve a little in the next few essays.
AnnotatedBibEmpoweringWomenInSports (1)
My annotated bibliography was one of my major essays I felt I needed to revise since I struggled to get it right the first few times. This final paper was the first time that I feel I have ever fully analyzed the outside information that I have included in an essay. A weakness I saw at the beginning of the semester was my use of the MLA format in my papers. I was unaware of exactly what this format consisted of, so it seemed that there was always some sort of revising that needed to be done to improve my paper’s set-up. I still feel that my papers may not be totally accurate to the MLA format, especially in my bibliographies. I rewrote my thesis, removed the numbers from the bibliography, and rephrased some sentences. I also changed my sentences that had passive voice and expletive words. I mainly had to rewrite many sentences that had repetition or words that didn’t belong, and also fixed my analysis for the sources. Lastly I added a hanging indentation for each MLA citation.