One morning, Mr. Lash brought a new student for her first day coming to Tech Time. “Mr. Travis, this is Antigone” (not her real name). “She’s had breakfast, so she’s good to go.” And with that, he was off.
Antigone got right to work on her design document after I explained the process to her, and created a beautiful drawing of a mermaid. Someone came to pick her up when Tech Time was over, which was a little unusual, but things are always moving fast around clean-up so I didn’t think too much of it at the time. The next few mornings she came, Antigone was always in a bright mood and consistently did good independent work.
Mr. Lash kept asking me how Antigone did, if she was polite to people, which was starting to stand out. He told me that Antigone had some issues in her life that were causing some problem behaviors – meanness, name-calling, tantrums, violence, running out of the room, you name it, and it was a daily problem with her. That is not an exaggeration – days without any kind of episode are few and far between for her.
Things started clicking into place. This sweet, bright kindergartener had some bad stuff bubbling away under the surface, and it came out in ugly ways. But Mr. Lash continued to explain that, in the few days when Antigone started at Tech Time in the morning, she went on to do better throughout the day. That was something. I can’t take too much credit – with a dozen students or so trickling in a few at a time, I can’t give one set of instructions at “the start,” and that prevents me from giving lots of one-on-one time to the students. And most of the work Antigone did was, basically, coloring. But even though that might not have been special in and of itself, it seemed that having some creative time helped set a positive tone for her day, which was good for her.
Someone who shall remain nameless suggested at one point that we turn Tech Time into an incentive for Antigone, a reward that she only gets for doing so well the previous day. I discussed this privately with a few other folks, and we came to an agreement that if Tech Time was helping Antigone, then we should provide that help regardless.
It hasn’t been all sunshine and roses, though. When Antigone started coming to K-1 Mondays in the afternoon, things were a little chaotic. We had just started our K-1 days, and for the first few I was the lone adult without much experience supervising twenty kindergarteners and first graders. When things got crazy, or sometimes if I just wasn’t paying attention for a moment, something (or someone) would set Antigone off and I’d have to deal with her. She’s mostly responsive, if I can get her to listen and make eye contact. I use a three strike system for everybody, and can still count the number of times I’ve given a third strike on one hand – but two of them have been for Antigone. Usually, the mere warning of a strike is enough to rein her in – I can almost see the self-awareness dawning on her as she stops and thinks things through.
One day in February, I was working in the teachers’ lounge during the day. Over lunch, various teachers came in and out to eat their meals and chat. I was discussing Antigone with Ms. Larson, and someone asked how I was so good with her. I said, “Well, I kind of was a troubled kid, myself.” Suddenly, the room went silent and everybody was looking at me. Self-awareness dawned on me as I stopped and thought things through: these folks usually only see me in a suit and tie, drinking green tea and running a before-and-after-school program. “Umm, I got better,” I say after a moment.
“How,” someone asked.
“Well, my dad sat me down and explained every stupid thing to me. Little things, like, ‘Being nice to other people makes your life easier,’ and, ‘Exercising patience is difficult, but it helps you avoid doing something you’ll regret.’ Eventually, it sunk in. Like, I’m getting straight As now, but I was a B/C student in high school and before. Why? Is that weird?”
“Sort of,” someone said. “I mean, it’s usually only the straight-and-narrow kids, the kids who like school, who end up working in a school.” I suppose that makes a kind of sense. I was dissatisfied with school as a kid, and do what I do because I want to make it better.
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