Category Archives: Divorce

Resilient Commitment

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Very interesting blog post by Scott Sibley about dealing with your parents’ divorce as an adult.

I still remember the phone call like it was yesterday. As I was preparing to leave for the university on a warm September morning in 2015, I received an unexpected call from my mother. In a very emotional conversation, she shared the devastating news that she had decided to divorce my father after almost 40 years of marriage, and there was nothing I could say or do to stop her. I hung up the phone, feeling shocked and confused. What added to my agony was that I was in my second month of teaching as an assistant professor in human development and family sciences and was scheduled to teach 38 undergraduates that day. How on earth was I supposed to teach about families when my own family of origin was falling apart?…

Find the whole article here…..

Top % Family Profiles– National Center for Family & Marriage Research

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TOP 5 FAMILY PROFILES OF 2016top-5-profiles-2016

Bowling Green State University / NCFMR / Resources / Data / Family Profiles / Top 5 Family Profiles of 2016

The Top 5 Family Profiles of 2016 are a culmination of last year’s most popular profiles that focus on the latest analyses of American families.

FP-16-21
Divorce Rate in the U.S.: Geographic Variation, 2015

FP-16-22
Marriage Rate in the U.S.: Geographic Variation, 2015

FP-16-01
Divorce Timing and Economic Well-being

FP-16-18
First Marriage Rate in the U.S., 2014

FP-16-12
Attitudes towards Marital Infidelity

Changing Dynamics of Union Formation and Dissolution

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VOLUME 36 – ARTICLE 12 | PAGES 371-390

A reflection on the changing dynamics of union formation and dissolution

BY Neil G. Bennett

Abstract

Background: This paper reflects upon the remarkable demographic transformation that has taken place among unions around the world. I establish the study of unions in a historical context with respect to its place in demographic studies in general.

Objective: I assess the similarities and differences across nations among patterns, trends, and differentials in the determinants and consequences of both marital and nonmarital unions. I focus on data from the United States and a number of other nations, mostly from Europe. Among the vast changes that have transpired over the course of the past several decades I pay special attention to demographic aspects of same-sex unions, as viewed through recently available data, and compare them to the dynamics of opposite-sex unions.

Methods: I draw upon research conducted by others to examine several global trends and differentials in union formation and dissolution. Further, I explore what constitutes ‘dissolution’ in the United States, and for whom. In addition, I discuss the impact of divorce on the economic well-being of spouses in the United States, with particular emphasis on the relative severity of the consequences for women versus men, as well as the factors underlying this differential.

Conclusions: Given the notably broader diversity of unions in the world today, the work of demographers has become substantially more complex than was the case years ago. That complexity notwithstanding, it is especially gratifying that we are rapidly accumulating data with which we can assess the dynamics of all unions, and not merely those of the marital or opposite-sex variety.

Author’s Affiliation

Neil G. Bennett – City University of New York, United States of America [EMAIL]

Doherty Research about Reconciliation

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Bill Doherty and colleagues have been raising some interesting questions about whether we should be providing reconciliation services to couples thinking about divorce.  Here is some of their work:

Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M., & Wilde, J. L. (2016). Discernment counseling for “mixed-agenda” couples. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

Doherty, W. J., Harris, S. M., & Didericksen, K. W. (2016). A typology of attitudes toward proceeding with divorce among parents in the divorce process. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 56, 1–11.

Doherty, W. (2015). Reflections on the divorce revolution: Assessing our impact. Psychotherapy Networker, 39 (July/August), 19-25, 42-44.

Doherty, W. J., Willoughby, B. J., & Peterson, B. (2011). Interest in reconciliation among divorcing parents.Family Court Review, 49, 313-321.

Doherty, W. J., Willoughby, B. J., & Peterson, B. (2011). Marital Reconsideration Interest of Divorcing Parents: Research and Implications for Practice. Family Law Forum, 19, 48-52.

Hawkins, A. J., Willoughby, B. J., & Doherty, W. J. (2012). Reasons for divorce and openness to marital reconciliation. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 53, 453–463.

For more of their work and some of the services they have created go to:  The Doherty Relationship Institute

 

Debate: Should divorce be made harder to get? Last updated 4/2/2020

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This is a complicated debate.  Few people probably want to ban the ability to divorce altogether, but some people definitely think that divorce has gotten too easy or that it might be important to help people think through the consequences of divorce.

However, this is a real debate.  There are a variety of legislatures across the US who have been proposing changes in the last few years.  Here are some sample news articles.

So here are some questions to consider in making your argument and some sources to consider in thinking this through.

Why make divorce harder?

  • Is there is evidence that divorce is harmful to children or adults?
  • Is “divorce” itself really the cause of this harm?
  • Is there evidence that people regret getting divorced?
  • Is there evidence that people take “getting married” too lightly and give up to easily?
  • If you were going to make it harder to get divorced, how would you do this?
    • Create a “waiting” period?
    • Offer counseling?
    • Provide education about the consequences of divorce?
    • Is there any evidence that the above approaches work?

Why make divorce easier or at least leave the law alone?

  • Is there evidence that staying in a “conflict marriage” is harmful to children and adults?
  • What causes the “harm” we associate with divorce?
  • Is there evidence that divorce improves the adults and/or children’s well-being?
  • If you make divorce harder, what does this do to marriages in which there is domestic violence?

Here are a variety of sources that provide background evidence about the wisdom of making divorce easy or harder.

Some background references about Illinois Divorce Law

Illinois General Assemble.  (n.d.) Families. (750 ILCS 5/) Illinois Marriage and  dissolution of Marriage Act. Retrieved April 1, 2020 from http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs3.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59

Illinois State Bar (2015) Summary of most recent changes in Illinois Marriage & Divorce Law.  https://www.isba.org/ibj/2015/11/newandimprovedillinoismarriageanddi

Heyman, M. G. (1978)  The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act: New Solutions to Old Problems, 12 J. Marshall Journal of Practice and Process, 1.  https://repository.jmls.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2407&context=lawreview

Johnson, W. D. (1975). Marital dissolution and the adoption of no-fault legislation. Illinois Legislative Studies Center, Sangamon State University, ILSC paper, no. 2.

Vlosky, D. A., & Monroe, P. A. (2002). The effective dates of no‐fault divorce laws in the 50 states. Family Relations, 51(4), 317-324.  http://www.jstor.org/stable/3700329