By clicking the link above, you can access my research proposal.
By clicking the link above, you can access my annotated bibliography.
By clicking the link above, you can access my original final research paper.
By clicking the link above, you can access my revised final research paper.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjVqrnY8qzfAhVCs6wKHTRhC-QQjhx6BAgBEAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fimgur.com%2Fgallery%2F16J9X6u&psig=AOvVaw3h9womOesIGxPxemDAcMZC&ust=1545343336558483
Research Paper Reflection:
Changes I made in my writing vary and are of a large amount. I took the time to review comments that were individually left by Professor Mary, but also took the time to reread and refocus the paper to be clear on what my research found. I changed the title, and reorganized the order of which my paper followed. I added signal phrases, revised citations, and reworded maybe sentences that seemed confusing or were hard to understand. I added support where needed, and took out details that were unnecessary or unhelpful. I rephrased my wording where needed to add clarification, over complexity. I used different words to symbolize my over all thesis, that I previously did not align with my thesis, and made the general idea of my paper confusing and off. I decided to make these changes, because I wanted this paper to be very clear and factual, being that it is such an exigent topic that no one really focuses on.
My thinking remains the same from when I began this research paper, although now I have factual information and am more knowledgeable in other aspects regarding the deaf culture and cochlear implants in general. I think this research paper brought up a topic that is not at a high demand to the hearing world, although it is an extremely obvious cultural divide.
I learned about cochlear implants and the way they work. I learned deeper details about the deaf culture and their way of lifestyle being deaf or having a deaf family. I learned about the political spectrum in relation to the “disabled” and the little say the deaf community would have in politics if it weren’t for organizations to arise as a voice in their favor. I learned about the ethical issues regarding surgery and children that receive these cochlear implants at a young age. I learned about prenatal genetic manipulation, which was a complete new and shocking aspect of my research paper. Overall, I learned more about a topic I was genuinely interested and curious to know more about.
Comments from Professor Mary:
Alicia,
You have chosen an exigent topic, and you’ve done a lot of research. Your thesis suffers a little, mostly because of imprecise and unclear language throughout your essay. See my individual notes. You make an attempt to credit your sources with signal phrase, quotation marks, and in-text citations, but you have unsupported claims, and some of your source boundaries are unclear. You have a lot of quotations, some of which would be better paraphrased. You don’t want your essay to be too dependent on quotations. You have some formatting errors in your citations.
Thank you for your commentary. I do believe my thesis suffers throughout my paper, due to confusing sentences and level of complexity I was aiming for, but worsened the clarity of my paper. I worked on the individual notes you left throughout the paper, to both clarify and organize my thoughts properly. I made sure to include signal phrases where needed, and fixed my quotations and in-text citations. I also fixed the unsupported claims and paraphrased quotations that were not needed to be direct. I revised my works cited page as well.
To revise this essay for your portfolio you would first want to clarify your source boundaries, and then try to simplify and clarify your language. You may want to rearrange some of your ideas.
Thank you. I took your suggestions and reorganized parts of my paper, that I hope will help clarify the thesis of my paper.