Tag Archives: consent

All About Yes

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College is a time of self-discovery, and for many of you it will be a time and a place where you explore your sexuality. But a truly important part of that journey is understanding consent.

GIF of Moira Rose, from TV show Schitt's Creek, saying

The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign has an Affirmative Consent Policy, which means they define what consent is, and, very importantly, what consent is NOT. In short, consent is a freely given and ENTHUSIASTIC YES to EVERY STEP of sexual contact. 

Things to remember about consent:

  • Consent can be taken back at ANY time.
  • A “yes” to some things doesn’t automatically mean a yes to everything.
  • Consent can only be given by someone who fully understands their actions. Someone under the influence of drugs, alcohol, someone under the legal age, or someone unconscious or asleep can’t give consent.
  • It is not consent if the person feels threatened or afraid of saying “no.”
  • It is not consent if the person said “no” many times, but was asked until they were worn down or guilted and eventually said “yes.”
  • Just because someone doesn’t say “no,” does not mean they mean “yes.”

GIF of Keenan Thompson enthusiastically saying

When taking part in any sexual activity you need clear consent. If your partner seems quiet or not into it, just stop and talk to them. Proceeding with sexual activity without consent is called sexual assault. 

And consent is sexy! Consent is the best way to know that everyone is comfortable and having a good time. Consent is the key to exploring your sexuality in a safe, respectful manner. How better to get to know your own preferences than to explore in a culture of consent? 

GIF of Thor yelling

Much like other campuses around the country, we are still growing a clear culture of consent on our campus. Studies show that sexual assault does happen on campuses, and it happens at higher rates to women and transgender or gender non-confomring individuals. But that does not mean it doesn’t happen to men either! Sexual assault is defined by the Univeristy of Illinois as “any sexual act directed against another person, without the consent of the victim, including instances where the victim is incapable of giving consent.” Assault can happen to anyone by anyone. This is why understanding exactly what consent is and what it is not is so important. 

Don’t think it’s just sexual contact that’s wrong. Included in the Sexual Misconduct policy at Illinois is Sexual Harassment. Anything that falls under the Sexual Misconduct policy is subject to discipline by the university.  

Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault. If you have been affected by assault, the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign has resources available to help. We Care can connect you with the right people to report an incident, who to talk to about what happened, and they also provide prevention training. They’ll listen, respect, and believe you. They also have resources for friends and family of assault survivors with simple steps to help you be there for your loved one. 

If you want to build a culture of consent on campus, the first place to start is with your friends and partners. Establish clear communication and consent for any touching, even hugs! Be there for the people around you, respecting them and listening if they have something to tell you. And always remember there are people here at Illinois who are available to help. A culture of consent isn’t something that will happen on its own. Each of us must do our part to make our campus a safe, supportive place to learn and grow.

GIF of Rihanna saying

Resources:

AAU Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Sexual Misconduct (2015). Association of American Universities (AAU). (2015, September 3). https://www.aau.edu/key-issues/aau-climate-survey-sexual-assault-and-sexual-misconduct-2015. 

Add Consent to Your Teen’s College Checklist. National Sexual Violence Resource Center. https://www.nsvrc.org/blogs/add-consent-your-teens-college-checklist. 

At illinois we care. https://wecare.illinois.edu/help/support/. 

Her Campus (2018, April 30). Creating a Culture of Consent on Your Campus. womenshealth.gov. https://www.womenshealth.gov/blog/campus-culture-consent. 

Human Resources. Sexual Misconduct – Campus Administrative Manual. https://cam.illinois.edu/policies/hr-79r/.

 

Written by: Maurissa

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Women’s History Month 2017

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Happy Women’s History Month! There is still half of March left to celebrate women’s history, so we’ve compiled a list of a few events on campus and a few books or DVDs related to the content of the event. Whether you are a woman or you want to support women, you can always learn something new about women’s contributions to our world.

Be sure to also check out the list of Women’s History Month events on campus listed on the Women’s Resource Center website.

7th Annual Campus Ecofeminism Summit Keynote Lecture with La Donna Brave Bull Allard
Tuesday, March 14, 7 to 8 pm at Unit One/Allen Hall (1005 W Gregory Dr, Urbana)

Ecofeminism Summit

Ecofeminism Summit

In honor of the 7th Annual Campus Ecofeminism Summit, join the Women’s Resources Center, together with cosponsoring units, for a keynote lecture from LaDonna Brave Bull Allard, Lakota historian, activist, and Director of the Sacred Stone Camp at Standing Rock. Find out more on the Facebook event.

The lecture will be followed by a Q & A. Local campus and community organizations will be offering resources and information. You can also join La Donna Brave Bull Allard at a Meet and Greet event at the Native American House from 2-4pm on Tuesday, March 14.

After the event, read The Dance Boots by Linda LeGarde Grover. 

The Dance Boots

The Dance Boots

Linda LeGarde Gover is a member of the Bois Forte band of Ojibwe. The Dance Boots is her short story collection about hardships Native American tribes have faced in the United States. This Flannery O’Connor Award for Short Fiction winner features stories about the oppressive history of Indian boarding schools, balancing survival of the self and of tribal traditions, identity, alcoholism, and violence. This is a difficult, but important, short story collection to add to your to-read list.

Spring Break Reading Group: We Should All Be Feminists

Wednesday, March 22, 11am to 12pm on Twitter

The Spring Break Reading Group will happen virtually via Twitter over spring break, so you can join this event from wherever you’ll be next week! Read the TEDx Talk’s adaptation and follow the conversation with @iSchoolUI and others.

Before the event, read We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is known for her novels like Americanah and Purple Hibiscus, but she is also known for her discussion of feminism in her TEDx Talk “We Should All Be Feminists.” The great success of this talk led to the written adaptation of the same name. In this 49-page essay, she discusses how gender divides and discrimination harms everyone.

Bonus points: also watch the film adaptation of Adichie’s book Half of a Yellow Sun

Half of a Yellow Sun is one of Adichie’s best known novels, but it was also adapted to film. The story focuses on twin girls born into a wealthy Nigerian family. They have a falling out when their life choices lead them down different paths. As Nigeria comes closer to civil war, the story explores the twins’ relationships with others and themselves.

Hot Topics — Herstories and the Futures of Arab Feminisms
Monday, March 27, 7–9 pm at the Women’s Resources Center

Interested in Arab women’s activism? This is the event for you! Come chat about Arab Feminisms with your campus community. Hot Topics is a discussion series hosted by the Women’s Resources Center and the YWCA. Refreshments are provided.

Before you go, read Headscarves and Hymens : Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution by Mona Eltahawy

Mona Eltahawy, an Egyptian-American journalist, exposes the fights women in the Middle East have been taking on since the Arab Spring: fighting oppressive men in power pre-Arab Spring, and now, fighting against an entire political and economic system that oppresses women in Egypt and other Arab countries. Learn more about her perspective in this call to action.

The Consent Workshop | Sexual Health Series

Friday, April 14, 2-3pm at the Women’s Resource Center

If you’ve ever felt like you needed more practice with consent, attend this consent workshop, a part of the Women’s Resource Center’s Sexual Health Series. Learn how to identify consent, build healthier relationships, and make the world a safer and less violent place.

After you go, apply what you learned to Unsportsmanlike Conduct : College Football and the Politics of Rape by Jessica Luther

This expose of the politics of campus sports and sexual assault demands change from universities, the NCAA, athletic departments, athletes, and the media. Time and time again athletes in schools and professional sports organizations are not held accountable for acts of violence toward their peers or partners. Jessica Luther, an investigative journalist, explores how and why this happens and advocates for a safer and better world.

We hope you have a great Women’s History Month, and be sure to check out our Women in Television display on the Upper Level of the UGL! We hope we’ve covered the major Women’s History Month events happening around campus… but if we missed anything, let us know! Check out our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages.

 

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