Essay 1 Revision: Rhetorical Analysis

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The Epitome of an Organized Student: the iBook

An Analysis Paper: The Revision

            Each new year brings the same feeling of being overwrought.  The beginning of every semester is a fresh start. A fresh start to get a 4.0 or to receive an interview for your potential future career.  Although one may believe all it takes to earn one of those is being smart, that is not always accurate. One of the most salient steps to becoming successful is becoming organized. University of Illinois’ 2011-2012 iBook is the ultimate guide to being that way. The book is filled with the school colors, which are blue and orange, throughout the spiraled book. Prepare to be amazed when you open the iBook full of maps, daily planned calendars full of important dates, and other important information for students (University of Illinois Student). This book is perfect to throw into your backpack on the way to class since the size is convenient.

Typically, when students obtain their student iBook they use it mainly for the purpose of staying organized. That is one of the main focuses of this iBook. The author used many examples of support to get his point across. In an argumentative analysis, the thesis must be debatable. The thesis for this source is that the Illini Student iBook is the most successful way to keep students informed, on task, and organized. Not only does an iBook contain a calendar, but also campus maps, bus schedules, and important ads and coupons. Because these are included, this support helps prove and strengthen the author’s thesis.

Each individual iBook contains campus maps of the main bus line, MDA (University of Illinois Student). The average student is clueless about the bus system, at least I know I am. To this day, I walk to the bus stop with a doubtful, but optimistic look on my face hoping I’ll be at the right stop. This iBook helps me become confident that I won’t end up in the middle of cornfields. This book is the perfect piece to becoming a well-organized student at the University of Illinois. Without having to look far, it is full of everything you need. There are advertisements for the Illinois Union Rec Room, places to purchase cheaper textbooks and even coupons for certain stores (University of Illinois Student). Most importantly, the calendar. It is the most beneficial section of this is the day to day fun-filled book. There is plenty of room for each student to write down all their meetings, assignments, and notes. Not only can you organize yourself, but you can organize your campus-wide events and holidays. The iBook keeps you focused with your studies, but also keeps everything in your life organized. If you want to be successful while living an involved life, this book is ideal.

In many sections of the iBook, the Rhetorical Triangle is apparent. The Rhetorical triangle uses different types of persuasion to further allow people to understand their purpose and material that is included. One important part of the triangle shows that the greatest impact from an argument can be the writer, the audience, and the context (The Rhetorical Triangle). Without really having to think about it, the audience for this iBook is obvious. The students. Only students and some parents will benefit from using this because it has all the information needed while they’re away at school. The author uses a substantial amount of pathos; which appeals to the emotions by values and interests. The author creates pathos in an effective way. There are sights of the monuments around campus and people that the students are well aware of all over the book, which connects to their emotions because they feel as if the planner was specifically made for them. The author does an exceptional job of using the rhetorical triangle in his artifact and truly connects to the user of the iBook.

There are subliminal meanings throughout the iBook, which typically are values that are important to the author. Warrants are often unstated and allow the reader to examine and make assumptions on how the writer feels about the topic. From the student iBook, the warrant is the substantial amount of pride the author has for the university. Every other page is filled with pictures or history about the University of Illinois. The person who wrote this is not only concerned with organization but also has an immense amount of pride in their home away from home. For this article, the warrant is supported by the backing. One is able to infer that someone who has an immense amount of pride for something will usually put everything into it. Specifically, in this artifact, you can tell the author put everything into it because there are countless resources for students.

            For the iBook or any analysis, the warrant is important because it shows the values the author has. Backing goes along with the warrant. Unlike the warrant, the backing is a kind of support and support will always be stated. The backing from this artifact is to persuade the reader that the warrant is rational. In order to believe the warrant, you need to closely examine the iBook. In addition, the reader can tell the author has an immense amount of pride because he wanted to help students succeed, just like he might have at any university. In order to positively affect the students, the author added everything possible to keep the students updated, informed and organized. For example, it contained advertisements such as places for jobs, places to study, and also places to unwind and have fun. The reader is able to tell from his warrant that they genuinely care about the students and want them to be well-rounded individuals.

The artifacts include different pieces of information and ways to support the author’s claims. In this specific artifact, the Illini iBook is filled with support, warrants, backing, but no qualifier. A qualifier is a different kind of support which it limits the thesis. To make the complex definition more simplistic, it indicates the strength of the warrant. When reading, a good way to determine qualifiers is by the use of language. The iBook doesn’t contain a qualifier because it’s not a written piece, it’s more informational.  Even though this artifact doesn’t have a qualifier, it still allows the reader to interpret and understand the thesis and what they are trying to say.

The way the Illini iBook is constructed makes it effortless for the student. Since it is not a complete written piece, it also does not contain a rebuttal. A rebuttal is when a writer may believe that there are rejections so they add further support in order to indicate different views (Toulmin Model of Argumentation). Some may believe the warrant is different from his school pride, but the author doesn’t try and defend that because it is left unstated. When there is no rebuttal, the benefit is that the author of the iBook was confident enough that the person who obtained the iBook would understand their purpose.

Every student wants to be successful during college and in order to be successful, you need to be organized. The Illini Student iBook is the perfect way to complete both of these tasks. Information about the buses, jobs, coupons, a day to day calendar, and everything in between is on every page. It is the guide to becoming informed and on top of things.

The author was successful in putting his artifact together in order to create the user to feel and understand something about themselves: their immense pride. In order to stay on task and organized, the perfect and most successful option is the Illini Student iBook. After examining this artifact and all it has to offer, I have decided to use the most current version. By using this, I believe I will become the student I have been describing while analyzing the older iBook. The iBook is the best way to keep organized and if you use one you are bound to do better within your studies because being organized means being successful.

Works Cited

“The Rhetorical Triangle: Making Your Writing Credible, Appealing, and  Logical.” The Rhetorical Triangle. Mind Tools Editorial Team, n.d. Web. 15 Feb. 2016.

“Toulmin Model of Argumentation.” Toulmin Model of Argumentation. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Feb. 2016.

University of Illinois Student. IBook 2011-2012. N.p.: n.p., 2011. Print.

The Comments

  1. Oops! It’s worth the extra research to get this right. 🙂 I agree, I am sorry I got your last name wrong. I think it is important and worth the extra research to get the information right.
  2. Your title is descriptive and specific, but you could also indicate that this is an analysis paper, perhaps with a subtitle. I added a subtitle underneath. I did this for my next two papers and I think it is effective to the reader so they know exactly what kind of paper it is. For example, they may be confused why I am analyzing this book so much, but when they read the subtitle they will understand.
  3. Unclear and ungrammatical. I agree that this sentence is unclear. I changed it completely. Also, after reading this again I don’t think it’s important to say “pigments of orange and blue.” It made me confused after I read it after a few weeks, so I know it would confuse the reader.
  4. I like how you address the reader directly in a light-hearted tone. Thank you! I think it really engages the reader and makes them want to keep reading.
  5. Good acknowledgment of your source. Thank you. I did this so the reader knows I am getting information right from the source and it’s not just observations I made.
  6. Good identification of thesis. In every writing piece, there needs to be a thesis and I think it is the most important because it shows what they rest of the paper should contain. Everything should relate back to the thesis, so I worked hard to make sure my thesis was effective.
  7. …iBooks… not possessive, so no apostrophe.For help with possessive nouns and apostrophe use please see section P4 of your handbook. I read P4 and now I understand better. I sometimes confuse myself when to use each different kind and reading that section helped me understand better.
  8. Good, but what is this part of the argument called? This part is called support. It’s good to indicate that just in case the reader doesn’t know.
  9. this is interesting discussion and a good summary of what is in the book, but you miss the opportunity to discuss some parts of the argument. I agree. When I revised, I made sure to discuss and include more parts of the argument. I explained why it is an extremely good tool to becoming organized and I think that is effective because explaining why is more persuasive than just saying it is more effective.
  10. You’re not using this word correctly. You’re close, but not correct. See me if you want help figuring out why. I realized I was using the word wrong, so I changed it. I changed the sentence to “This book is the perfect piece to becoming a well-organized student at the University of Illinois.”
  11. What is “they?” I did not revise enough and realize that I meant “there” and not “they.”
  12. This sentence is tangled up. I agree this sentence is a little messed up. After I read it two months later, I decided to completely change it to “Without really having to think about it, the audience for this iBook is obvious. The students. Only students and some parents will benefit from using this because it has all the information needed while they’re away at school.
  13. good rhetorical analysis (triangle) here. Thank you. At first, I was a little confused with each of the components, but after researching it more I really understood it and was able to explain it well.
  14. Good identification of warrants. For this paper, I had trouble thinking of warrant but after I thought about it, I came up with pride. I think that was a good warrant because in one planner the author makes this school look just as amazing as it is.
  15. Warrants are supported by BACKING. Oops, I made a mistake. Thank you for correcting me. I wouldn’t want to give the reader wrong information.
  16. Actually, the backing is a kind of support, and support is always stated. Thank you for helping me with this. I thought I understood it enough, but I guess not. I changed it in my paper so the reader would understand better.
  17. Grammar Girl to the rescue: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/impact-verb Grammar Girl helped me realize that a better word would be affect. Before I knew this, I thought impact sounded right but when I switched it with affect, I realized that was a better word.
  18. good discussion of qualifier. Thank you! I knew this pretty well so it was easy to spot out.
  19. good discussion of rebuttal. Thanks! I think it was easy because there couldn’t really be a rebuttal in the planner. I like how I said that he was confident enough that he didn’t need one.
  20. This conclusion is like a five-paragraph-essay conclusion. The conclusion is perhaps the most difficult part of the essay. Don’t be tempted to merely repeat your assertions, or worse, repeat your introduction. Yes, “summing up” can be part of a good conclusion, but it should go beyond mere repetition. Try to think of drawing conclusions. How did writing this essay teach you something new, or require you to look at something differently? Do you think you might change your behavior in any way after reflecting on your essay’s topic? Do you have suggestions for your readers to address the issue you wrote about? A “call to action” can be a strong conclusion. Here is a page that may help: http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/person I changed this final paragraph into two and gave the second paragraph some insight about what I thought and how I would start using the current planner.
  21. Good. It is important to include works cited.

Reflection

I will be reviewing and commenting on my first essay. For my first essay in this class, I wrote about an artifact; specifically, the student handbook for the University of Illinois.When writing these assignments, I learn quite a lot. When I first obtained the student handbook, I didn’t think I would learn much from it. Although after analyzing it and flipping through pages repeatedly, I learned a lot about the history of the university and how it has changed over the years. When talking specifically about the paper, I learn a lot about how to create better sentences and fix mistakes I continually make. I get better at the skills I lack in by proofreading myself and also using my workshop group to my advantage. The teachers comments help me to fix mistakes to future papers. One thing I really enjoy about her comments is that she guides you to the writers handbook, which allows you to see where you’re making a mistake, why, and how to fix it. Finally, later lessons in this class have helped to better analyze and better expand on my support on my papers.

Since it is the end of the semester, I get the chance to revise my paper. I began with rereading all her comments from previously in the semester and fixing everything she thought was wrong. When I reread what she said, I noticed the same mistakes as she noted. It is common to skip over sections and not realize simple mistakes. Next, I reread my paper again and adjusted many sentences to make them have better structure and be more concise. Throughout the semester, I have tried to make my sentences more effective and when revising I was able to complete my goal. I am glad I was able to have the chance to revisit my paper because it allowed me to see common mistakes I make a lot. It opened my eyes up on how I can change my writing to become more efficient.