I chose this piece to revise because it was one of the very first critical response assignment in the class. This topic required me to do more research and analysis on the subject before I could proficiently argue my point. The things that I’ve argued in my paper was everything that I’ve learned about the subject during my point of research. I hope that the audience sees my points and critically think about my argument whether they agree or rebut it. I decided to put more information in my title which reveals more about my thesis and what my argument is to hook the audience. I fixed some minor grammatical and sentence structure mistakes to allow the essay to transition smoothly. Reading the comments given helped me know what needed to be fixed and what worked well. Fixed my heading as well to follow the template.