(Taken from Youtube)
After revising the critical response paper on the Illini Chief, I feel a lot better about the outcome of the paper. The main revisions I did was add more analysis. I also refurbished a lot of sentences to make the paper more concise overall. For example, I split a sentence into two separate sentences to make it more straight forward. On the other hand, I deleted unnecessary words in various sentences. Ms. Mary told me to fix a minor detail about passive voice, so I quickly edited that. The paper is clean and easy to read now. Aside from grammatical errors, I also added personal input on how I felt watching the film. Music and special effects play a large role in the film. These aspects of the film contributed to my feelings of sympathy for the Native Americans in the film. I enjoyed watching and writing about the documentary. As a student who goes to the University of Illinois, I think it is important to know the history of the chief and how it may offend people on campus. Now I know to be more mindful when buying school spirit wear. I refuse to purchase anything with the Chief on it. The film certainly influenced me.