How are y’all doing, iSchool? It’s a cloudy, chilly Friday afternoon here in Chambana, so we are dreaming of fantastic adventures in warmer climates. As luck would have it, this week’s Pet of the Week is a fantasy creature in his own right.
This handsome stallion is Griffin. Obviously, he’s magical, well-dressed, and the goodest boy. We’re also relatively certain he could take flight with those enchanting ears. His human, Shraddha, says he’s also sweet as sugar and a always brings the party. Pretty and a pup with personality? Griffin has put a spell on us!
Want your best friend featured and described dramatially with mixed metaphors? Send their best headshot over to the Help Desk! We’re always ready for future fluffs!
Happy Friday, iSchool! It’s almost time to shut off those laptops, take off those headsets, and go back to playing Animal Crossing for forty-eight straight hours! With just a couple more hours to our official weekend, we’d like to present to you the Help Desk’s Friday Afternoon Patronus:
Everyone, meet Bomber! Bomber can’t even. Bomber is the canine-ification of “How About No?” Bomber misplaced his very last give-a-hoot before the rest of us were even born. Unlike his human and iSchool IT Sith Lord Brynnen (All Hail), Bomber couldn’t care less if he tried. Which he won’t. Because Bomber can’t bother with trying anything.
We aspire to this level of nihilism. Bomber, how do you do it? Truly, could you teach us the way? Could you offer a Zoom Master Class on How Not to Care?
Oh. Well. We should have seen that one coming.
Friends, just this once, don’t emulate Bomber: send us your favorite friend to be featured as our Pet of the Week. It’s something worth caring about right now.
Also it’s the only thing keeping the Help Desk GAs vaguely sane. No pressure.
Friends, we’ve survived our first week of all-online life at the iSchool. The Help Desk has every confidence that we’ll survive next week, too, but we could definitely use some inspiration. That’s where this week’s Pet of the Week comes in.
Messr. Theodore Maximus Younan-Lopez (or “Teddy” to his friends) is gazing into the future, a future where he’s allowed to sniff other doggos in the park and his human, Eileen, goes to the store to buy him snausages on a daily basis; where he can leisurely wander into the bathroom for a clandestine sip of toilet water instead of having to sneak past his people*. Yes, Teddy knows there are better days coming. Teddy knows all.
We’re dreaming of a brighter future, too; especially one where our wonderful iSchoolers send us their fluffy friends to be featured as Pet of the Week. It’s for the good of humanity, y’all. Please. Think of the children.
*Our counsel advises us to state that we have no evidence Mr. Younan-Lopez has ever been anywhere near the humans’ toilet and is too good of a boy to ever do something so naughty. We apologize to Mr. Younan-Lopez and his family for any implication of wrongdoing.
How’re you holding up, iSchool? Midterms are almost upon us and we could all use a little support. Lucky for us, this week’s Pet of the Week is just that kind of fellow.
Chewy here has a dogtorate in snuggling and his thesis focused on the true meaning of being a Good Boy. His masticaters degree is in tennis ball resilience.
His barkchelor’s was in Comparative Literature, though. I’m…not sure where that came from.
If you’d like to book Chewy for tutoring sessions, please contact his human, Matthew.
Know any brilliant pupfessors yourself? Send them in to be our featured Pet of the Week! Your cohorts will thank you.
As another week of term passes, our crew has again succeeded in obtaining an exceptional exemplar for our Pet of the Week assignment.
Pup Star Trek beams in from a Class M planet full of strange purple fossils and elegant collars. His wide, trusting eyes and especially floppy ears have brought many members of the crew to exclaim, “Awww.” Initial readings suggest this life form has an affinity for Earth vegetables, snuggles, and being cute.
We owe a great debt of gratitude to Lieutenant Linden for providing us with this specimen. Perhaps other members of the crew will have knowledge of similarly fascinating creatures we might feature as the Pet of the Week. With any luck, those crew members will contact the bridge with their findings.
🖖 Live long and prosper through another week!
It’s the Friday before Fall Break, and we’ve got an extra sweet pupper for whatever ails you!
Max thinks he might have heard that you’re all worn out from studying. He’d like to politely suggest you rest up over break. Maybe? Please? For Max?
The Help Desk thinks that Max has an excellent idea. Plus, how could you possibly say no to this face? And Zoe (Max’s lucky human), if you aren’t having a nap party with this snuggle buddy all break, what are you even doing with your life?
The only thing that could make this Fall Break better is having more adorable friends to pick between. Make sure you send us your best buddy to be featured as our Pet of the Week!