Raise a hand if you’re feeling stressed at this moment. Are you worried? Scared? How about anxious? Around the world, thousands of men can attest to experiencing the last emotion on a daily basis. It’s not a huge surprise, as our lives are more demanding than ever no matter what our background is. Although I am not the most qualified person in the room to discuss the problem of being a man with anxiety, I have been there several times and can draw advice from my own experiences that may help. Before you’re quick to judge yourself for feeling negatively, discouraged, and not motivated enough, remember that you possess much more strength than you believe. Instead of crouching away in the corner, take your fear head on and fight for your happiness. You can only live this life once, so might as well live it with your best.
My Journey With Anxiety
Not many people will want to be vulnerable to you with their experiences, especially if you’re a stranger. Who can blame them? Telling another person that you’re dealing with anxiety is only done by the weak. This is the message that the mass media, politicians, and some of the biggest names in Hollywood will want to tell you so you can keep your mouth shut. However, despite all of those lies I will tell you that I have been there. Although I’m not a man, I believe women experience the same kind of depressing symptoms that comes on with anxiety in men. Not too long ago, I was a woman who was struggling heavily with my depression and anxiety as a perfectionist in college. That constant anxiety of failing myself, failing others, and failing in life manifested as an unusual laziness. I was so embarrassed of my internal fears that I couldn’t keep up anymore with my finances, my drive to do well in school, or my respect to spend time with people who were actually beneficial for me. So, as many might do, I kept that dark anxiety within myself and shared it with no one. On the outside, I was living and laughing with people I just met. Yet, on the inside I felt so alone and anxious that being around anyone was the only way to make feel sane.
Weeks upon weeks of this anxiety brought a bad habit of drinking to avoid the feeling, as it subdued reality just long enough to escape. Whether it was the weekday or weekend, I turned to drinking frequently to numb the pain and socialize with others who probably felt the same. I felt like a bomb that might explode at any minute, as there was so much pent up stress but nowhere completely healthy in my mind to get rid of it. If you’re a man struggling with anxiety, you have to know that you’re not alone in your journey of feeling like you can’t control your life.
Making Progress
After several negative events happened with my habit of drinking to deal with anxiety, I realized one night that avoiding the problem would only leave to an even darker path. From that night forward, I made a promise to myself to start viewing life as the result of my own actions and thought process. Even if the people that I became close to through drinking could avoid me for my change of heart, I knew that continuing to drink so often would be the fastest way possible to end myself. I then set out with the mission to only associate myself with others who had the same outlook on life; to work hard, treat others with respect, and treat their bodies the same way.
After several weeks of slowly waning away from the hangovers and happy hours, I found exercise and yoga as my way to mental clarity. I can genuinely say that the friend who brought me with them to my first cycling and yoga class saved my life. The way my body was pushed to the limit both physically and mentally broke through the ceiling of feeling so helpless for so long. I realized that the same principles that guided exercise applied to life, as you only get results from what work you put in. Exercise and yoga for men works the same way, as it helps you relieve your stress while strengthening your body. At the end of the day, our health and body is the only thing we have that will carry us through. With the thousands of ways to get in a sweat, there’s no excuse to stay on the couch tonight and drink a few shots to get away from any anxiety you might be dealing with.
Put In Work
You’ve got to put in work to see any changes, so start as soon as possible to decrease your feelings of anxiety. If you’re getting started on finding an exercise you like, fear not. Think about whether you like being guided in a class, or prefer being independent and working alone. If you fall in the class category, taking a Zumba, aerobics, or yoga class is great to feel a sense of community while building long term mental strength. If you like working on yourself without a voice instructing what to do, seek out weight training, cycling, or running to break a sweat and release your pent up stress. No matter what you choose to do, a good principle to follow is to include at least half an hour of the activity to your schedule everyday. This might seem like a lot at first, but staying consistent will strengthen your progress and give you something to look forward to if events didn’t exactly go your way.
Above all, remember that you can control your anxiety even though it seems like it controls you. Make sure to explore your options and get to the root of why you’re feeling so stressed during the day. Anxiety in men can be controlled, and being honest with yourself is the best way to get on the road to success.
