Revision Thought Process

This paper was one of the first papers I wrote at the start of this semester and I can tell it wasn’t as organized as my research paper. Some areas that needed improvement are where I was not too clear. For example when I was reading over the first paragraph where I began to explain the devices I found in the ad were not too clear. I found that I wasn’t saying the right names of the devices that I was trying to explain. I had to go back and reconstruct that whole area. When I went back and fixed these mistakes I found that I needed to explain what some of these devices were. For example I wrote:

In some cases the author may want the warrant to have a support to show the importance which is usually called the Backing.

I felt like I needed to add this definition into my essay because maybe the reader is not introduced to these devices. This will also give my paper a better flow because I give the term, define it, and then explain why I brought it up in this example. I explained each of the devices in the paragraph.

I also found a couple of places where I wasn’t too clear with my writing, and I went back and changed any small mistakes I made. One of the bigger mistakes I made were when I was hitting at what I wanted the reader to know, but instead I thought I should just make it clear what I wanted the reader to know.

The author clearly also values luxury, and we can tell that by the way that the picture is set up.

Since I have made my main point clear then the audience will understand the rest of the points I make in that paragraph. I found that this essay needed a lot of reconstruction but it was an overall well thought out essay.